imorca: (nyah!)
[personal profile] imorca
Good grief. Now they bring back Jaime's voice, begging the scarab to let him the fuck go. Guess it's good to know he's still independently in there. Makes you wonder if Green's host is, too. Seriously? They sent Impulse and Batgirl after him? Sigh. C'mon, Broody McBrooderson (Nightwing's new code name, I've decided). You've got better battle tactics than that. You're at least smart enough to have studied Arsenal's battle plans, even if you don't like him. And Impulse was from the future where BB was in full on Thuggier-Darkseid mode. He should have know how much of a ridiculous farce his action would produce. But then...oh ho! Rocket and Zhatana? Combo Attack? That BB can't break? Ok, McBrooderson. I'll give you that one.

And they're taking him to...Bialya? Into the belly of their beastie enemies? Broody...what are you playing at now? Crap! Gotta fight...oh. Zhatanna again. Yeah. Um. So a dozen guys with guns are, yeah. So. 

Into an ancient chamber with weird scarab imagery? Could it be something the desert peoples of the planet might be able to... oh shit. There's Green, and he's got BLADES. Oh, but Martians and fire? Duh. Then Wondergirl and Robin and Beastboy. And then...Ancient Ritual, cleansed Beetles, and Voila! Wait a minute. This seems a little suspiciously too perfect.

Aaaaaannnnnd... back around to the face-palming lame-fest where we started. In a series of about 6 sentences the back story of the entire season is revealed. And what is it? Yes. More "we quote-kept-everyone-in-the-dark-for-their-own-protection-unquote bullshit" again. Or, why don't we call it as it is: ultra convenient plot device is being implemented to save this drowning monstrosity and LYING is really the only way to make it work. 

Look, guys. I just got done reading Aristole's Poetics this week. The dude laid out in the oldest recorded advice on good plot writing that this IS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT, either for MORAL LESSONS or for EFFECTIVE EMOTIONAL RELEASE. Meaning? It's a cheap ploy and an obvious substitution, even for - perhaps especially for - kids. 

And now for the relationship disappointments. M'ghann breaks up with Lagaan because...yes, you guessed it...IT'S ME NOT YOU and I CAN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DESERVE, and YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT MY REBOUND GUY. Geeze. And when they get back to the McBrooderson-hovel, M'ghann IMMEDIATELY ASKS TO SEE THE EX-BOYFRIEND, who in one last piece of my-gawd-this-can-get-no-more-predictable SAID SOMETHING ABOUT GOING OUT WITH WENDY. Cue M'ghann's pitiful, "Oh, yeah. Of course. Heh heh," complete with rueful eye slant to the side. My mouth tastes bad, and I only typed that. The patheticness of the entire scene made me ashamed to be watching. Even the popcorn tv character that M'ghann based her personality on would have done better than that last piece of drivel. Then there was this off-handed line from Robin to Wondergirl about "You'll thank me for this later." Oh, please - do *not go making that a coupling. The thought revolts.

Good things: BB free, GB free, at least M'ghann and Connor didn't get back together in this episode, The Reach Ambassador gets shafted, Zhatanna is a total badass, Rocket finally gets some screen time (but all her lines are whining about how she has this bubble to keep intact so they'd better protect her), Robin and Beast Boy and Batgirl are onscreen, human magic saves the earth.

Bad things: #1 is, of course, NO TY. And...EVERYTHING ELSE.

The Black Lightening short was on. It's pretty awesome. With the shorts it's become like Honey Bunches of Oats cereal: the bunches are not the actual cereal (which sucks). You end up wishing the entire bowl was the bunches.
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